Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize