Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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