i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
