my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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