my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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