when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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