Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
