yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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