Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
