marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
