I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
