Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(810): View more from Michigan

I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo

(810): View more from Michigan

With himself

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet

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(808): View more from Hawaii

guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina

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(318): View more from Louisiana

why is allison so mad at me??

(469): View more from Texas

me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".

(318): View more from Louisiana

crap..

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(705): View more from Ontario

APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?

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(727): View more from Florida

The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.

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