are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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