Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Houston, we have a blender
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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