even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
