I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
