I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
We left the knife in your bed.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
