Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
