JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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