That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
