Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
