O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
