my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
