I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
