is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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