my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
