Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
