please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
