just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
