Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
