in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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