The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
