Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize