I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
