Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
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