I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
