Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
