I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize