Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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