I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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