You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
so much tequila, so little girl.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
