Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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