I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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