Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
