if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
