Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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