so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
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