shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Randomize
