dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
