did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
