i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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