PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
