he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
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