I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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