i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
