I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
