There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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