i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I'm always down for nudity.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize