Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
