The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
