Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
