Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I think I won the penis lottery.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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