please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
