she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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