my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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