You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
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