brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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