he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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