I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
