It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
