You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
