woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
He better not be in your backpack
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
