bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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