I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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