kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
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