No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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