Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
