Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
