At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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