did you get engaged???
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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